The issue of child marriage has been under a lot of discussion recently. The trials of the two young teens seeking divorce is making news everywhere. The crux of the problem, however, is not that judgment is being delayed or in child marriage itself. The real problem is: Parents being good or bad for their children.
Children are under the custody of their parents. Father is primarily responsible for his family, so it is his duty to think and act in the best interest of his children. If the father is abusive, he may exploit his children in a number of ways. There's nothing much one could do about that. Parents are supposed to take care of their children and bring them up in the best manner possible, and most of them do that. Majority of parents - though ignorant of the best ways to parenting - do take sufficient care of their children in providing them what they need, including education. But there are parents who abuse them, trade them for money, and sometimes even kill them. This is not restricted to Saudi Arabia, it happens all around the world.
One of the improper ways societal problems are tackled by the ruling class of the world is by putting a full stop to any conservative practice through which abuse may occur. Marriage is one such example. Though not criticized openly, the trend in the Western world is to replace 'marriage' with what-they-call 'living with a partner.' Why? Domestic violence! Abuse of women by husbands! This set-up allows men and women to satisfy their animal desires without being committed or bonded to each other, they can walk-out any time. Such relationships end quickly. Living with a partner is an advanced stage, today's most widely practiced phenomenon in the West is 'hooking up,' described by Charles Blow in New York Times, which is more of a one-night-stand.
The problems with such alternatives are many, and it doesn't solve the problem it sought to tackle in the beginning. Abuse continues. Majority of the rapes in the US are committed by a known person, most likely a 'friend,' and they are not decreasing.
Family is an institution. There is commitment between the spouses, they share responsibilities, and sacrifice for achieving common goals. It is an institution because family nurtures and prepares a generation that will inherit the world tomorrow. Family, in short, is the DNA of society. If families disintegrate, societies will follow.
Though in today's world the term "child marriage" is taboo and perceived as an extreme form of abuse, historically the law to allow minors getting married, which Islam does approve of, was not meant to be a form of abuse. The question on who is a minor and who is not is not hasn't been well addressed. However, some of the marriage practices in Saudi society are not Islamic, and go back to the pre-Islamic times.
All this and more in the next post Insha Allah...
Children are under the custody of their parents. Father is primarily responsible for his family, so it is his duty to think and act in the best interest of his children. If the father is abusive, he may exploit his children in a number of ways. There's nothing much one could do about that. Parents are supposed to take care of their children and bring them up in the best manner possible, and most of them do that. Majority of parents - though ignorant of the best ways to parenting - do take sufficient care of their children in providing them what they need, including education. But there are parents who abuse them, trade them for money, and sometimes even kill them. This is not restricted to Saudi Arabia, it happens all around the world.
One of the improper ways societal problems are tackled by the ruling class of the world is by putting a full stop to any conservative practice through which abuse may occur. Marriage is one such example. Though not criticized openly, the trend in the Western world is to replace 'marriage' with what-they-call 'living with a partner.' Why? Domestic violence! Abuse of women by husbands! This set-up allows men and women to satisfy their animal desires without being committed or bonded to each other, they can walk-out any time. Such relationships end quickly. Living with a partner is an advanced stage, today's most widely practiced phenomenon in the West is 'hooking up,' described by Charles Blow in New York Times, which is more of a one-night-stand.
The problems with such alternatives are many, and it doesn't solve the problem it sought to tackle in the beginning. Abuse continues. Majority of the rapes in the US are committed by a known person, most likely a 'friend,' and they are not decreasing.
Family is an institution. There is commitment between the spouses, they share responsibilities, and sacrifice for achieving common goals. It is an institution because family nurtures and prepares a generation that will inherit the world tomorrow. Family, in short, is the DNA of society. If families disintegrate, societies will follow.
Though in today's world the term "child marriage" is taboo and perceived as an extreme form of abuse, historically the law to allow minors getting married, which Islam does approve of, was not meant to be a form of abuse. The question on who is a minor and who is not is not hasn't been well addressed. However, some of the marriage practices in Saudi society are not Islamic, and go back to the pre-Islamic times.
All this and more in the next post Insha Allah...
4 comments:
This is child abuse. Yes children are abused everywhere but not in everwhere do you find that the Courts support such abuse. It does not happen in the West because there are laws that protect children even when the parents are irresponsible. You are conflating the issue of child marriages and "living in partner" in the West to try to justify the unjustifiable. If you are going to address the issue of children then stick to the topic and do not bring in what two adults in the West do. It does not help your flawed argument. The two topics are not even related. Regarding your question who is a minor or not, why dont you ask people around you with 8 year old children whether they think their kids are ready to get married?
Salam Alakum Aki,
Inshallah Anta Kwais! I apppreciate you bringing this too the attention of the online audiance. I am an american muslim convert. And so many times I get people trying to degrade me because they sy Prophet Mohammad salialu alahi wa salem was a child molester.(Stafrela) And That I truely get sick when people are doing these things, say that, and marrying young girls that are prepubesant.
It is a question of good and bad parenting. I think people have left there true Islam and gone to compulsion, being compulsive about their deen rather then actually living it. Islam is common knowledge, what right is right and wrong is wrong.
Now I can say that living here in america we hear in the news so many times how a 10 year old girl had a baby then abandoned it, so on, etc.
There are young girls that are exposed to sex then ( I feel taken advantage of) this is the product of ails in society. Bad parenting and poor respect for girls and women. As a women I never cared about sex until I was 25 and after having 2 kids.
The truth of the matter is men cant control there desires and always are seeking to exploit girls.
And our Prophet( SAAWS) he is free of any crime. The history presented with him justification of what happened. No way is he a child molester( stafrela).
But the people doing that thing using the example of the Prophet(SAAWS) most of them are. And there parents are criminals too.
I personally hate that women allow there sons and husbands to be so hanious in this life, having such a double standard.
If my son even mentions one day about maybe a girl or girl friend I am going to beat his behind. He is never ever going to have a girlfriend. My sons like my daughters will be expected to have the same behavior. And if my husband says anything too me, I swear I will divorce him. ALLAH is number one, not men's rights in this life.
That is the problem with most the Muslim world. Men think they can transgress against women and that it is their right. LALALALALAL LA
If I am a virgin women and I marry. I want my husband to be too. ( Not just say he is- I swear if ever I found out my husband lied to me I would kill him!)
I think Saudi needs to take the sharia, and really have a written standards of laws, not just known. Because it allows to many people to victimize others, mostly women.
It is a shame and ALLAH is ever knowledgeable about that which each of us do.
Alhamdulillaah Ukhti,
Jazaak Allah khair. Your comment was filled with rage.
Well, the Prophet SAW was ordered by Allah to marry Ayesha RA.
Secondly, there could be situations when its in the best interest of a girl to get married at young age. For e.g., what about young girls whose parents are killed? What about young girls in Afghanistan for e.g.
If a man could take care of her and nurture her growth and look after her in the best manner... and also be a good husband in the future... then I think that's a very noble thing to do.
Man, isn't it ironic that I found your post around the time I post about that same topic? And from a supportive point of view too? Cool!!
Post a Comment
Shoot in your comments!